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20 Things I Never Knew About Newborns

16th Feb 2013

20 Things I Never Knew About Newborns

  1. That you should have been doing weight training to prepare for all the lifting and carrying.
  2. What a beautiful and celebrated thing a burp is.
  3. Just exactly how much and how fast newborns can accumulate loads of laundry!
  4. One burp cloth is never enough.
  5. Having to cut off a onesie because there is too much poop on it to pull it over baby’s head.
  6. How funny baby farts are.
  7. How much poop a small baby can hold.
  8. That a baby can poop, not only up the back of the diaper, but out the sides, and up the front too!
  9. That I could survive on so little sleep.
  10. How I immediately could not imagine life without my newborn.
  11. Somehow, baby boys figure out how to pee on the back of their heads.
  12. That you may not get your teeth brushed until lunchtime…or later.
  13. That you may cry right along with your little on in the middle of the night when nothing will console them.
  14. What about how everyone always says, “Sleep when the baby sleeps”? Yeah right, like there’s not a million other things to do!
  15. That showers would seem like a luxury vacation.
  16. Most baby socks are made for Oompa Loompas with really fat feet/ankles. A normal baby can kick off a newborn sock in 10 seconds.
  17. The cuter the outfit or the more snaps and buttons on it has an eerie correlation to the extra amount of leaked pee or explosive poop for the day.
  18. That going to the grocery store alone becomes an exotic, exciting trip out.
  19. I never knew was how helpful it is to have people bring you food after you get home from the hospital.
  20. Baby acne can happen, but it WILL go away!


Sarah Shultz ~ 20 Things I Never Knew About Newborns author.

2 comments on “20 Things I Never Knew About Newborns

  1. The folds on the onesie shoulders are designed to allow you to pull the onesie down off the baby when you’re dealing with the inevitable blow out. No poop in hair!

    • I am absolutely astounded! No one in my life ever told me that’s how onesies are designed! I thought the shoulders were so big to fit over their big heads! Wow!